The following is part three of a series on gay marriage. Head to part one to understand why allowing same-sex couples to marry is so important. In this post I look at what it was like to do some of the things I suggested previously to support gay marriage (which was part two).
Today I called my MP’s office to pledge my support for gay marriage in Australia. Getting in touch with your government representative is one of the most important things you can do. After all they’re in office, largely, to represent YOU.
I thought it particularly important I do this as I happen to live in the Berowra electorate, which means my MP is Philip Ruddock. Mr Ruddock headed up a 2004 amendment that legally defined marriage as an institution between “a man and a woman”, effectively making iron clad a commonly understood law that has never let same-sex couples marry.
When I called the office, I politely explained that I was a member of the electorate, and would like to register my support for gay marriage. I mentioned the bill the Greens had recently entered that would make this possible, and if possible I wanted to talk with Mr Ruddock about this matter.
The woman who answered the phone was perfectly nice, and said the MP was overseas at the moment, but she would pass the message along upon his return (my friend, rather cynically, has suggested that Mr Ruddock isn’t really “overseas” and more likely not interested in taking a call like mine). And also that my name would be added to “the list”. I also asked if it was OK that I send a letter additionally, and she said that was fine.
It was all very easy, and not scary at all.
Head to the Australian Equality Marriage website if you would like tips on contacting your MP.
I backed the call up with a letter that I’m going to reproduce for you now:
To the Hon Philip Ruddock MP,
I’m writing in support of the Marriage Equality Amendment Bill 2009. And as a member of your electorate, I implore you to support this bill as well.
Last weekend, I attended the wedding of a very good friend of mine. It’s the first wedding I’ve been to of ‘my generation’, and I wasn’t sure what to expect. But as we waited for the happy couple to enter the room, friends, family and co-workers gathered together to witness these two primary school teachers begin devoting their lives together – I can assure you there were tears welling in my eyes. It was just so wonderfully moving to see the way they looked at one another that day, so filled with love. Egads it sounds so cheesy, ha, like a daytime movie special. But I guess it’s hard to impart any originality on a rite that so many have gone through, and will go through …
Except one group of our society. One group who will be denied this important, and beautiful aspect of human life, simply because they are attracted to the same sex. It makes no sense!
My dear friend, the primary school teacher, and her husband are not religious. They uttered no religious vow, and, like many others in this country, did not see this as a religious expression. This was a personal expression of their love and devotion to one another. Perhaps, yes, this is also a cultural tradition that was born out of a religious tradition that forbids gay people to get married. But let’s face it, for the majority of this country marriage does not have Christian connotations. And if the majority of us do not view marriage as a Christian rite, then essentially, in Australian culture marriage is not defined as a Christian rite, and therefore the laws of Christianity need not apply to a State sanctioned act. (Of course, each religion and their followers may continue to abide by their own laws, within their own churches and communities.)
I have yet to be offered a single good reason, based on sound ethics, for why gay people should not be allowed to marry. To make the assumption that same sex relationships do not have the same elements of love, devotion and commitment, or the potential to have so once entered into as marriage, is, quite simply, discrimination.
It is my understanding that your amendments led to a legal definition of marriage as an institution between a man and a woman, and that you believe this to be an accurate reflection of the majority of Australians’ definition of marriage. My response to this would be that yes, perhaps this is what is traditionally understood as a marriage. But more because any alternative is not current legal and therefore not practiced or common! I also feel that when really asked, most Australians are comfortable with this definition changing – “getting with the times” so to speak, and moreover, as a leader of this country you must show leadership when the right and honorable thing to do is staring you in the face, even when it’s possibly an “unpopular” thing to do.
Please, let’s end our discriminatory laws. Let us have laws that value each and every human being as equal, and are blind to sexual orientation – which is, after all, simply a part of humanity’s diversity, and one that should not be discriminated against.
I have attached a wide range of point-for-point reasons as to why gay people should be allowed to marry in this country, as taken from the Australian Marriage Equality website.
Many thanks for you time. I would greatly appreciate a response.
I also sent similar versions to Kevin Rudd, Julia Gillard and Malcolm Turnbull.
In addition to this I emailed the Senate Legal and Constitutional Affairs Committee in regards to this new Greens bill. Any Australian citizen can send one (called a submission), and it plays a big role in the success (or failure) of the bill. Please, play your part in taking this nation forward and submit a quick and easy letter via. email. Or for the time poor, here’s an online form that makes it super easy.
And now the most fun part of activism … wearing ribbons!
I’ve made 30 white knot ribbons, which I’m ready to give away to those who email me their address, no matter where you are in the world. By wearing one you are showing to all your support for gay marriage. Please, only email if you’re willing to wear this more than just once or twice, and particularly on August 1, which is a national action day for same-sex marriage. (Click here for instructions on making your own ribbons.)
The following is part two of this post. If you would like to read about why it’s so vital we allow gay people to have the same right to marry as the rest of the country, I highly suggest reading this touching statement on the Australian Marriage Equality website. They also respond point by point to some of the anti-gay rhetoric.
Consider this issue a real opportunity to affect change – and how often do we get to do that? Many problems of the world are so big, so complicated, they leave us feeling powerless as individuals to do anything about it. But bringing about gay marriage in Australia is relatively simple; If you want it, let the government know, and tell others to let the government know.
And when enough do the laws will change.
The day where gay people in Australia are allowed to marry is all but inevitable. But let’s make it happen sooner, rather than later. And let’s, with joy, become a part of that process.
Level: Make It Quick
1. Support the Greens bill: The ball is already rolling. Last month the Greens entered a bill called the Marriage Equality Amendment Bill 2009, which looks like this. If passed, gay people will finally be allowed to marry (yay!). Click here for quick and easy ways you can support this bill.
2. Contact your MP: Make a phone call, send a letter or email, pledging your support of gay marriage. And in that order you have levels of effectiveness.
If you’re not sure of your electorate, just use this Australian Electoral Commission search. Type in your suburb, click “find”, and in the results click the electorate name that comes up to find the name of your MP. Once you have that you can use this page to find their contact details.
The Australian Marriage Equality website lists some great tips for what best to say when contacting your representative.
You can also contact the dudes at the top!
3. Join and/or donate to the AME: The Australian Marriage Equality (AME) is a national organisation working for equal marriage rights for all Australians regardless of their gender or sexuality. Join online, and membership is $40, or $20 for concession. Or donate money.
4. Join a facebook group: Where there’s a cause, there’s facebook! The first lists some great events you can participate in.
- Gay Marriage Rights in Australia (requires login)
- Lets start with just 1,000 people to support Gay Marriage in Australia
- Australian Marriage Equality
5. Wear a white knot: Wear it every day to show your support for marriage equality. Srsly, everyone’s wearing one. Find out more about white knots here, or click here to buy one, or here to find out how to make your own.
Level: Relatively Radical
6. Attend the National Day of Action For Same-Sex Marriage: A national day of protest is happening on August 1, with a wonderful mass illegal wedding ceremony at Darling Harbour. Plus a march from Town Hall to Darling Harbour to protest outside the national Labor conference. Head to the Community Action Against Homophobia website, or facebook page for more details about attendance, getting involved, and registering to marry on that day. (UPDATE: My photos from the event. – 02/08/2009)
7. Meet with your MP: A phone call is one thing, but letting your rep know in person is the best. Again the Australian Marriage Equality website lists tips on how to go about doing this. And contact them once it’s over to let them know how it went.
Hilariously, my MP is Phillip Ruddock who in 2004 introduced a bill that specified marriage to mean the union between “a man and a woman” and is therefore a staunch advocate of keeping gays out of marriage.
Level: Super Hardcore
8. Get involved: The AME are looking for bright-eyed individuals to setup local branches, that can lobby local MPs and educate the community. Get in touch with them if you’re keen.
Many of these national and state/territory lobby groups are also looking for volunteers and members.
9. On top of these things, think about what else can be done, and start putting those ideas into action or pitching them to these lobby groups. One nutty idea I had was to use the online tool The Point, which is a pledge that those who sign make to give money or act only once the pledge has reached a certain number.
For example, as straight, unmarried people, who do have the right to marry, we can promise that once the petition reaches 5 million, we’ll carry out our threat of refusing to get married, until that right is extended to all people of this nation.
10. And most importantly, spread the word. Email this post around. Direct people to the AME’s case for gay marriage. Send invites to your friends from those Facebook groups you joined. Blog about it. Let’s keep this ball rolling!
In my next post I’m going to write about what it was like to do some of the things listed here.
Back in 1969, Time magazine wrote a piece about a quirky, little phenomenon, newly gaining the courage to point one toe out of the closet, called “homosexuality.” A largely sympathetic, more curious than condemning culture piece, it nonetheless believed that homosexuality was the result of a disturbed childhood and ended with this analysis:
While homosexuality is a serious and sometimes crippling maladjustment, research has made clear that it is no longer necessary or morally justifiable to treat all inverts as outcasts. The challenge to American society is simultaneously to devise civilized ways of discouraging the condition and to alleviate the anguish of those who cannot be helped, or do not wish to be.
Some historical understanding may need to be given. The American Psychiatric Association didn’t remove homosexuality from the manuals of mental disorders until 1973, with the American Psychological Association following suit in 1975.
10 years later, in 1979, and with much changed, another Time piece on homosexuality looked into the way gays had become organised. They no longer wanted to be afraid of coming out, or barely tolerated in their gay ghettos. Gay people wanted to be accepted by the mainstream, recognised by law, and therefore had turned into a political movement.
But as the piece points out, as the gay movement picked up steam it gained an ironic tribute, “the rise of an alarmed, organized and vehement opposition that includes fundamentalist churches.”
It’s a time that was captured in this year’s wonderful film, ‘Milk’. Harvey Milk was an intelligent, generous, gregarious former Wall Street suit, who went on to become “the first openly gay man elected to any substantial political office in the history of the planet,” as told by Time, now in 1999. The magazine was profiling Milk as one of their “heroes and icons” in their list of The Most Important People of the Century.
The film also depicts the work of conservative Christian singer Anita Bryant. In 1977, the passing of an ordinance that prohibited discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation in a Florida county, inspired Bryant to begin a highly publicised anti-gay campaign to repeal many of the hard won gay rights ordinances across the United States. However just as the anti-gay movement was born out of the gay movement, Anita’s campaign, and the murder of Harvey Milk, inspired many more to join the fight for equality in terms of homosexuality and the law. And hopefully, many more again, in this generation, with the release of the film.
It’s a half a century long game of tug-of-war, with both sides continually finding new recruits. Yes, there is more acceptance of homosexuality now than forty years ago, but only thanks to an anti-gay movement that continues to remain active, vigilant and organised. Because if they don’t, the other side will make overwhelming progress and possibly undo decades of hard work.
One only has to look at last year’s Proposition 8 to find an example of this perpetual two steps forward, one step back pattern. In May 2008, a California Supreme Court case in a 4–3 decision, ruled that bans on same-sex marriage were unconstitutional, effectively legalising same-sex marriage for that state. It was a triumph for everyone who had fought for gay rights, and many couples did marry, including high profile lesbians Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi.
Just six months later, on the same day the people of California voted in their new president, they also passed a new ballot proposition banning gay marriage once again. (The gay marriages consecrated during those months will continue to be recognised.) The battle for and against leading up to the vote had become the most expensive ballot measure on a social issue in the nation’s country with opponents of Prop 8 having raised $43.3 million, and supporters $39.9 million.
And it was this decision, passed with just 52 percent of the vote, that sparked a flame in me. While I always had vague feelings of support for gay marriage, it was, I must confess, something I had never really thought about. When I heard about gay marriage originally being legalised in California, and we began seeing pictures of happy gay couples tying the knot, it simply warmed my heart.
But with Prop 8, that happy chapter came to an abrupt and bitter end. Suddenly I had the feeling like we had been robbed of hard-earned progress. That indignation inspired in me questions I should have asked a long time ago; wait a minute, a section of our society aren’t allowed to have the same rights as the rest of society? And this is LEGAL? How can that be?
As I’ve said previously, for me many tricky debates are a question of different definitions, or different interpretations. And both sides have strong, though opposing structures of rationale to back their feelings up. But when it comes to the question of gay marriage, the arguments of the anti-gay marriage movement are terribly thin. I won’t go into all of them. These SMH readers (second letter onwards) get stuck into it if you need any convincing.
(UPDATE: This statement on the Australian Marriage Equality website says it best, and I found very touching. They also respond point by point to some of the anti-gay rhetoric.)
It seems pretty obvious that all most of the flimsy excuses the anti-gay marriage movement give, are just blatant, old fashioned, unjustifiable homophobia in disguise. Which is why, unlike questions of abortion, or interfering with dictatorships, or globalisation, or how best to deal with global warming, etc., I am concrete about my views on about gay marriage.
Which is to say, I believe EVERYONE has the right to marry, and be recognised by the State as so, no matter what their sexual orientation.
And no, de facto relationship status, or registered relationships status are not good enough. Here in Australia, same-sex marriages are not permitted, however cohabiting same-sex couples are recognised as de facto couples, which effectively gives them the same legal entitlements and protections as a heterosexual, married couple.
But this is not the same as a marriage. And the battle has moved to the next stage.
As Australians, gay or straight, we should no longer tolerate living in a nation whose legislation discriminates against a section of our society. How can we be a proud of country whose homophobia has been sanctioned by the government? It is time we really made Australia the fair and just country it purports to be. Until that day, our claims of egalitarianism are nothing but hypocrisy.
In my next post, I hope to learn and share some practical and effective ways we can fight for the legalisation of gay marriage here in Australia.
UPDATE: I’ve decided to change the title of this post. I think the original was not only overly sensational, it didn’t reflect the majority of the post’s intention.
